I need to talk about something and I don't know where else to do it.

I've lost 70lbs. Everyone says I look amazing. My health markers are perfect. And I feel... lost? Like my whole identity was "the big guy" and now I don't know who I am. I look in the mirror and don't recognize myself. I should be happy. I AM happy about the health stuff. But I'm also grieving someone and I can't explain who.

Please tell me I'm not the only one.

you are NOT the only one. I went through the exact same thing around the 60lb mark. It's called "identity disruption" and it's incredibly common with major physical changes. You spent years building a life, personality, and defense mechanisms as a larger person. That doesn't just evaporate because the weight did.

It gets better. But please talk to someone — a therapist, ideally one who specializes in bariatric/weight loss psychology. You deserve support through this. ❤️

The part nobody warned me about: when you lose weight, you find out who liked you and who tolerated you. People who ignored me for years suddenly want to hang out. And that feels... awful? Like was I not worthy of your time before?

Q, that hits hard. I've noticed the same thing. People are nicer to me now. Strangers make eye contact. It should feel good but instead it makes me angry about how I was treated before.

Everything in this thread is valid and important. A few things:

• Identity grief after major weight loss is well-documented and real
• Anger about changed social treatment is a normal and healthy response
• If you had disordered eating patterns before, GLP-1 can sometimes unmask other patterns. Please monitor this with your care team
• Joy and grief can coexist. You don't have to pick one

This thread might be the most important one on this entire forum. Thank you OP for starting it.