TW: body image, emotional eating

I've lost 42kg in 14 months on tirzepatide. By every objective measure this is a success. My blood pressure is normal, my A1C is normal, I can walk up stairs without getting winded, I fit in aeroplane seats comfortably.

But here's the thing nobody warned me about: I don't recognize myself.

I look in the mirror and see a stranger. I still reach for the plus-size section in shops. I still suck in my stomach when I walk past people. I still feel "big" in rooms even though I'm objectively not anymore. My brain has not caught up with my body and it's genuinely distressing.

And then there's the loose skin. I expected it but I wasn't prepared for how it would make me feel. I went from hating my body for being too big to... still hating my body, just for different reasons. It feels like I can't win.

Is anyone else going through this? I feel like I should be celebrating and instead I'm crying in changing rooms.

First — thank you for being vulnerable enough to share this. What you're experiencing is incredibly common and has a name: "phantom fat" or body dysmorphia following weight loss. It's a real, documented psychological phenomenon, not a personal failing.

When you've lived in a larger body for years or decades, your brain builds an internal body map based on that reality. That map doesn't automatically update when your body changes rapidly. It can take months or even years for your neural body image to catch up — and in some cases, professional help is needed to facilitate that process.

A few things I'd gently suggest:

• Consider therapy — specifically someone experienced with body image issues and weight loss. CBT and ACT approaches have good evidence here.
• Stop using the mirror as your primary feedback mechanism. Focus on what your body can DO, not how it looks. Can you carry your groceries? Play with your kids? Walk without pain? Those are your victories.
• Give yourself grace about the loose skin. Your body kept you alive while carrying 42 extra kg for however long. The skin is a record of your body's resilience, not a flaw.
• Be patient. The emotional adjustment takes longer than the physical one. That's normal, not a failure.

The crying in changing rooms? That's actually your brain processing a massive identity shift. It's painful but it's not permanent. ❤️

Brother/sister, I feel this in my SOUL. Lost 55kg and I look like a Shar-Pei dog from the neck down. Loose skin on my arms, stomach, thighs. I went from never taking my shirt off because I was fat to never taking my shirt off because of loose skin. Cool cool cool.

What's helped me:

1. Strength training. It won't fix the skin but filling out with muscle makes it look better and honestly, feeling STRONG helps my body image more than looking a certain way
2. Time. I'm 2 years post major weight loss and the skin has tightened somewhat. Not completely, but noticeably. Especially on my arms.
3. Talking about it. My partner, my therapist, this forum. Keeping it inside makes it worse.
4. Accepting that surgery might be an option down the road and that's OKAY. It's not vain or ungrateful. It's healthcare.

You're not alone in this. The highlight reels on social media don't show this part.

I could have written your post word for word. The phantom fat thing is SO real. I literally bumped into a door frame the other day because I tried to turn sideways to fit through it — I haven't needed to do that in 8 months but my body still expected to.

What helped me shift my thinking was a question my therapist asked: "Would you rather have the loose skin or the 40kg back?" When I put it that way, the answer was obvious. The skin is the receipt for the best purchase I've ever made.

The changing room thing gets easier. I promise. I still have bad days but they're less frequent. First month post-loss I cried 3 times a week. Now it's maybe once a month. Progress isn't linear but it's real.

I'm actually crying reading these responses (the good kind). Thank you. Truly. Knowing I'm not alone in this makes it feel less like something is wrong with me and more like this is just... part of the journey that nobody talks about.

I'm going to look into therapy. I've been resistant because I thought I should just be "grateful" and get over it, but you're right that this is a massive identity shift that probably needs professional support.

"I look like a Shar-Pei dog" 💀 okay I didn't expect to laugh in this thread but there it is. And you're right about the strength training angle. I want to feel CAPABLE, not just thinner.

"The skin is the receipt for the best purchase I've ever made" — I'm writing that on my mirror. That's beautiful.